Great new sprint ad...jackpot

PicsMatch is Coming...

The future is here...

Conan!

Planet Venus Cuts Drivers Ed Program

This economy is rough, something has to go....the only thing funnier than this video, is that it's set to the hamster dance. Best one has to be the park job of the woman in the green Yugo. Enjoy, I did =)

Obama's Manifesto!

Yesterday's inauguration will not doubt go down in American history.


Policy aside, yesterday was a showcase for what our security capabilities have become in a post-911 world. Obama sported a bullet-proof vest, 99 agencies from all over the country to converge on D.C. to staff 12,500 armed personnel, and my favorite, a Chevrolet Suburban equipped with a pop-up machine gun nest capable of firing large-caliber bullets at a rate of 4,000 rounds per second rode behind the presidents new caddy (Check out the video from Fast Company).

All of that is somewhat sad and impressive at the same time. But you know what is just sad, socialism. It didn't work for Stalin, so why are we so excited for 'Change' now? Hopefully that new $1,000 check comes before summer so I can buy a new bike.

Don’t sleep on the Eloise Mental Hospital Oct. 18th….they’re crazy good.

DETROIT LIE-DOWNS 2009 SCHEDULE....

September
13..................... Taft Junior High School
20......................Cub Scout Troop #101
27..................... Detroit Academy for the Blind and Deaf

October
04.....................Spanish American War Vets
11.....................Crippled Children's Home
18.................... Eloise Mental Hospital
25.....................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November
01..................... Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.....................Fraser Boys Choir
15.....................Korean Vets
22..................... National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.................... Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME

December
08.................... Grand Rapids Boys Club


** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.

2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Lions must not hide the football
under their jerseys.

3 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For
all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.

4 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.

5 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.

6 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing
team.

7 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or
more, instead of the usual ten yards.

Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust...

An always intriguing, challenging piece by Alpha Male, Daniel Sleezer

…The Crushing Mediocrity of Big Ten football on the National Stage.

After a 1-6 record in bowl games this season, ‘mediocrity’ may be far too generous a term. But since Ohio State wasn’t already out of the Fiesta Bowl by the second quarter, I decided to throw them a bone.

The Iowa Hawkeyes were the lone bright spot for the Big Ten in a bowl season that saw everything from an equally big late choke job by Northwestern, to a second straight Rose Bowl that wasn’t even a game. So the question becomes, How is the Big Ten underperforming to the point of irrelevancy?

Is it the recruiting? Storied programs such as Ohio State and Michigan continue to nab top-15 classes, Penn State has experienced a renaissance in the department lately, and Illinois’ own Ron Zook keeps over-achieving as well. (I’m waiting for the violations to come to light, but that’s a story for another day.) So at the very least it would seem that the Big Ten is getting enough sheer talent to be competitive at the very least.

Is it the coaching? From proven Big Ten track records (OSU’s Tressel, PSU’s Paterno, Iowa’s Ferentz) to others getting it done in different conferences, (Michigan’s Rodriguez at WVU, Zook at Illinois) there’s a wealth of leadership and winning experience at the helm. Is it the caliber of conference competition? Each of the other power conferences has their share of bottom feeders, as well as cupcake teams to start the season off right. But for some reason, the top and middle thirds of the other conferences seem to outclass those of the Big Ten.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any answers, so anybody, clue me in if you do. Every year, I watch the regular season thinking that the conference has enough good teams to go at least .500 in bowl games, and every year I end up scratching my head in frustration.

At least now I know how it feels to be a Cubs fan…

More thoughts on the topic to come. Thanks Dan.

2008 had its ups and downs, but few would argue that it wasn't remarkable.

Looking back at 2008…in pictures. (p.s. there are 2 previous parts with more pics).

Enjoy.

Hot Stove Part Duex

And now, another edition of 'round the diamond' with daniel sleezer:

The Hot Stove Part II: Earlier this week, Kenny Williams made the second big move off the offseason when he shipped Javier "Five and Dive" Vazquez to the Atlanta Braves, along with Boone Logan and the late-inning migraines he gave Sox fans. In return, the Sox received 4 prospects: Catcher Tyler Flowers, Shortstop Brent Lillibridge, 3rd baseman Jon Gilmore, and lefty pitcher Santos Rodriguez. Additionally, they shaved $23 million off the payroll for the next two seasons. Unlike the Swisher trade, this one is a little easier to swallow because the Sox got some real prospects out of the deal.

Flowers is a powerful bat who hit 12 homers in the Arizona Fall League, and gives the Sox a solid right-handed hitting catcher to potentially back up AJ Pierzynski. He has a good arm (threw out 28% of his baserunners last year in the minors) but his defense has been described as average to below average, depending on the sources. To me, it projects as he'll break in to the bigs as a catcher, but unless his defense improves he'll be more useful in a first base or DH capacity. That said, look for him to spend the whole 2009 season in the minors, along with Gilmore and Rodriguez (who spent last season in the rookie league.)

So out of these 4 prospects, it seems that Lillibridge will be the only one competing for a roster spot next season, but I'm puzzled as to where. The Sox have a log-jam at the infield spots: Josh Fields, Alexei Ramirez, and Chris Getz figure to be the starting 3B-SS-2B combo at this time, with Wilson Betemit next in line at third and Jayson Nix in line at second. Lillibridge has a good glove, but hasn't shown promise at the plate (.294 OBP in Triple-A last year, and a 3:1 strikeout-to-walk ratio) so it looks like if he makes the roster, it will be for a utility spot. Further complicating the issue is the White Sox signing of Dayan Viciedo, a 19-yr old Cuban slugger who projects as a 3rd baseman if he can keep his weight down (think Miguel Cabrera.)

I'm not sure what to make of this trade, as the Sox didn't improve one bit for 2009, save for freeing up the $11 mil due to Javy next year. Furthermore, with the economy the way it is, there are whispers that the money freed up from the Swisher trade combined with this one won't be going to a major free agent acquisition, but rather represents a general tightening of the purse-strings. On the other hand, what the Sox did lose was a starting pitcher that could be counted on to eat up 200 innings every year, and strike out 170 batters or more. Though Javy could be maddening in his inconsistency and his desire to throw every one of his 5 pitches to every batter, at the end of the day he was a workhorse 5th starter on a team that needed him to be a 4th or 3rd starter. I hope the move back to the National League helps him.

Moving forward, the Sox still have some glaring holes to address. With Jose Contreras returning mid-2009 at the soonest, they have to fill holes at the 4th and 5th starter position. Not only that, they need another outfielder, and with more and more rumors swirling around Jermaine Dye, maybe two outfielders. If Dye stays, and the Sox don't acquire anyone else, the Opening Day centerfielder next year would be Brian Anderson or Jerry Owens. There are two problems there: it seems that Anderson has worn out his chance to be a regular starter, and the only thing Jerry Owens would give you is that the Sox can run a promotion I like to call "See if your girlfriend can hit the ball further than the White Sox centerfielder" Night. Yikes.

Good work Mr. Sleez

Brian Williams is a Stud

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1370868150/bctid3938052001

Funny, but true.

The Hot Stove

In spite of the fact that the two best commentaries on this blog have come from outside my realm, I approve of this post.

…a White Sox offseason primer by Dan Sleezer

Kenny Williams made the first big offseason move yesterday for the Southsiders, trading popular yet recently unproductive outfielder/first baseman Nick Swisher to the New York Yankees for infielder Wilson Betemit and minor-league arms Jeff Marquez and Jhonny (not a typo) Nunez. This comes as a bit of a surprise as it was widely speculated the Jermaine Dye would be moved and Swisher would be starting in right next year, as Dye commands significantly higher trade value and Williams doesn’t typically ‘sell low’ on players like this.

Kenny seems to love making moves that leave fans scratching their heads in confusion, but many tend to actually turn out in his favor (see Quentin, Carlos.) However, this one is a little too much for me to fathom. His career numbers are vastly better than this past season (what we call an outlier in statistics) and his plate discipline is still excellent. Furthermore, he’s only 27 (which seems desirable for a team trying to undergo a youth movement) and his 5 year, $26 million contract is below market value. There’s no downside to retaining him for at least another year, since he couldn’t possibly play any worse. And I’m struggling to see the upside. At just over $5 million a year, the Sox aren’t clearing up that much room in the payroll department, and the players coming to Chicago are uninspiring at best. If you haven’t heard of Wilson Betemit before this, (and you probably haven’t because he was playing behind A-Rod at 3^rd, Robinson Cano at 2^nd, and Giambi at 1^st) I can draw a very simple comparison: he’s Juan ‘Burrito Supreme’ Uribe, without a glove. He’s an unathletic utility infielder with a career .240 average and poor plate discipline (.286 OBP!), and to sweeten the pot, he can’t sling an ounce of leather either.

Now for the other guys: Jeff Marquez has spent 5 seasons in the Yankees’ farm system, and is currently rated number 14 in their top 20 prospects. The long and short on Marquez is a lack of strikeout stuff but average to above average sink. Except for when he doesn’t sink it (12 homers in 81 innings with Scranton last season.) Think Nick Masset, the guy who spent the better part of the last two seasons warming a seat in the bullpen and was subsequently used to acquire a certain 37 year old centerfielder who had zero range and a penchant for hitting scorching singles to right field. Apparently hearing the words ‘Sinker’ and ‘U.S. Cellular Field’ is enough to make Kenny ruin his shorts. As far as the last guy, well, he’s not on New York’s top 20 prospects list, and he can’t even spell his first name right, so fuck him.

We all jumped to conclusions about Quentin and Alexei Ramirez last offseason, so I’m hoping Kenny will prove us wrong again. But I just can’t see it happening. Even more depressing is a look at the transitive property surrounding the Swisher trade(s):

Ryan Sweeney (Top 3 outfield prospect), Gio Gonzalez and Fautino De Los Santos (top 5/10 pitching prospects) to get

Nick Swisher

to get

Wilson Betemit (crap), Jeff Marquez (minor league crap), and Jhonny Nunez (can’t comply with the spelling conventions of the English language minor league crap).

Everyone wins with Caffeine and Ice Cream

Well, win or lose on election day, at least well be able to wallow with free food. Among the participants: Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, Chick-Fil-A, and Ben and Jerry's.

Take a look.

We'll concede the IL

Good news team: The latest Yahoo Poll of Polls election map is looking very favorably for the red states.

With one more week to go, I like our chances!

In a related topic, some interesting comments from Politico on 'Election Bias 2008'

And remember, vote early and vote often!

Chimpanzee Rides Segway

Are pogs the next big thing??

Some economic thoughts, by Nicky Depilla:

So much has been made about Obama's commitment to change, and how a vote for Obama is a vote for change. Did we get so caught up in the notion of change that we overlooked that not all change is good? Specifically in the economy, Obama's changes will actually push this economy further in a recession, putting more stress on the already overworked Ben Bernanke. Obama, with all the other donkeys, believe that the economy is powered by middle class spending. The fundamental belief is any tax break for the middle class will instantly increase their spending, boasting larger sales. The hope is that these tax breaks will flood the economy with money.

However, there is a flaw to this current plan. This same middle class failed to learn the lesson of 'saving' from their baby boomer predecessors. The baby boomers are moving into retirement, and will be using their savings earned from better economic times (see; Reagon, Ronald). Because of this wave of retirement, any tax cuts for the baby boomers will be moved squarely into saving for future spending, and not into the existing economy. If the current working middle class employed the same saving discipline, I would have more hope in Obama's economic theory. However, these tax cuts will not be used for the designated spending as Obama hoped, but rather to be saved to be spent on back expenses. One of the reasons we find the economy in harder times is because of mortgages, notably adjustable rate mortgages. The lower and middle class has been deceived into ARMS because of the teasing low beginning rates. Now those rates have jumped measurably, causing widespread panic. The tax cuts intended to boost consumer spending will be used to pay down mortgages primarily.

The second use of the tax cuts will be used on loans. The credit crunch and slow economy have affected loans to where the middle class have not been paying down the principal, only the interest. The banks want their clients to only pay the interest, and stretch the payment period to draw more money. The middle class will use these tax cuts to get more leverage on their outstanding loans. Once again the incentive of spending for household appliances will be overlooked, and money Obama hoped would circulate through high end appliance retailers (raising the capital seen from sales taxes, to support his agenda) will not.

Obama's plan is long ranged, and over the course of 8 years, we would see progress, but not the quick acting affects we hope and he promised. Also, we need to remember, these tax cuts are temporary. A vote for the Democratic Party is a vote for big government, and big government needs big money in order to administer their various and often unnecessary programs. As soon as Obama and company feel tight, and see that none of their programs have taken to development, the middle class will see the inevitable tax hikes, bringing us back to square one and undoing any progress. Through this, the Fed and Ben Bernanke will need to scramble to solve these problems. There isn't much Bernanke would be able to do to coincide with the Obama plan. The Fed would run the playbook: 1) lower interest rates, hurting banks, 2) print more money, devaluing the already deflated dollar. The latter will be the worst, seeing as the Euro is already replacing the dollar in foreign backed securities, inflation will skyrocket, and by with the dollar devalued, China will be able to own a higher piece of the American Pie.

Let's shift gears, and see why McCain's economic plan will be beneficial to America. With a stimulus package being discussed, McCain will be able to implement the GOP's greatest invention Reagonomics. This stimulus package will be intended for instant spending into the economy, and seeing as the stimulus will consist of a fixed amount ($600?) it will not be enough to persuade the middle class to save this one time event. On the eve of consumer spending, McCain will be able to allow tax cuts for Corporate America which will paint a broader stroke. These tax cuts for American companies will open more a revenue stream which will be used to create jobs. These same corporate tax cuts will improve Corporate America's balance sheets, making the companies healthier, improving stock price, ultimately sending the Dow to new highs. With a vigorous Dow, middle class 401k's and IRA's will be strong enough to borrow against for real estate spending, and as we've learned the housing market is the real driver of the American economy.

The trickle down effect or supply side economics will be seen. The trickle down theory states that any tax cuts for large corporations or for the wealthy will be used to invest into America's infrastructure. The trickle down effect will increase the supply of goods to economy, which not only meet demand, but exceed it, causing prices to decrease. By having more money invested in infrastructure, corporations' money "trickles down" do the middle and lower classes. Same goes for the wealthy America, whom have more invested in America's equity, and more to gain by economic success.

It might be the vogue thing to vote for Obama, but is it really the smart choice? For quick acting and long lasting economic success, let's Reagonomics do its thing. Let the corporate tax cuts open more jobs for the ever increasing unemployed, and lower the price of goods by using the trickle down effect. The last thing America needs is to fight another long war, this one not on Wall Street, but on Main Street, as average Americans need to find the money to support Obama's big government, and flawed economic plan. America is a nation of passing fads, and let's hope Obama fades into our popular culture as quickly as pogs or the Macarena.

Barack Obama, you are the weakest link…. Goodbye.

Congradulations to Nick

Congrates to Nicky Depilla who is a proud new owner of nickyd@danptak.com

He completed the puzzle with a time of 1.8 seconds a move!

Photo Opp

Beat this caption: Shit, I had the lens on, nobody move!

DanPtak.com now featuring Side Action

Side Action: $10 Personal check and your own email address @danptak.com to the first person who beats hard with an average move of less that 1.9 seconds.

Take a screen shot and send it over....

Play here

p.s. don't lie on the open screen

The Power Nap

One of My favorite exercise, and I know many of yours.

Here's some tips on making the most out of those zzzzz's.